Who needs Freud or Jung when there's Buzzfeed?

Apr 4

Congratulations, you would win the Hunger Games. As a female character you are Katniss Everdeen, but as a resident of Panem you’re Peeta Mellark.

And if there is a zombie apocalypse you’d last more than a year.

You are both Sirius Black and Minerva McGonagall yet somehow the sorting hat thinks you’re definitely a Ravenclaw despite being 60% Slytherin. Either way your patronus is a horse (like Ginny Weasley).

In Middle-Earth you are a human, though if you were a mythical creature you’d be an elf. You belong in King’s Landing, because you are Robb Stark, even if you should be of House Targaryen.

If you were a John Hughes film you’d be Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but if you had to play a role in a John Hughes film you’d be John Bender. Regardless you are too cool for school.

As a villain you’re Talia al Ghul, but as a Valmont you’re Sebastian.

Your super power is bursting into flames.

You are part Buffy Summers and part Donna Meagle. You are a Monica and a Miranda, and your soulmate is Mr. Big.

You are Ralph Malph, Jesse Katsopolis, Justin Bobby, Ted Mosby, Professor Duncan and Dick Casablancas! But really you are Conan O’Brien.

In an animated world you were Charlie Brown’s little sister Sally, until the 80s when you starred in GI Joe before signing a Disney contract as Ariel and moving over to Pixar as Woody.

In a past life you were a poet, then for a while you were William S. Burroughs after a stint as Thomas Jefferson. If you were a contemporary artist you’d be Jeff Koons but really you should be a designer, architect or editor.

You are single, and making the most of it. Why? Because you’re too attractive. You’ll eventually get married in the distant future and good news Ryan Gosling is your soulmate. Make sure Rachel McAdams gets invited to the wedding.

You are absolutely not LA, but if you have to live there do it on the Westside. You take the underground almost like a Londoner but you’d be more comfortable in Manchester. Take time to study abroad in Paris, but make your next vacation a backpacking trip. If you have to live in the United States it should be in Greenwich, Connecticut… or New Jersey. Ideally you should live in Barcelona, despite the fact that you’d be happiest in the Netherlands and seem like you are from Latvia. No matter where you end up your dream home is a cozy library.

You are a horse on land and a penguin in the water.

You are not a hipster, you’re not unhealthy and if you were a font it would be Garamond.

Your iPhone should be named Pete.

You should cut your hair into a long bob.

You should drive a Lamborghini Aventador.

You straddle the line between cool and uncool.

You’re not competitive, you’re just really good at things.

You are a gentleman and a scholar and if you were a knight you’d be Sir Patrick Stewart.

In the movie of your life you would be played by Mindy Kaling, but in the sex tape of your life you’d be Colin Farrell.

You are worth $123,980.

You’re well on your way to world domination.

You are the Chosen One.