on creative orgasms and @wilw

I took a little internet-break this weekend. Every once in a while I go unplugged, and after the last few weeks of *DEATH! DISASTER! DICTATOR! REPEAT!* I needed to get some air. 

Somehow the weekend I’d expected to be filled with popcorn flicks & fun ended up being really inspiring. I powered through most of Kelly Cutrone’s book “If You Have To Cry Go Outside”, which has taken me by complete surprise. I always loved Kelly’s appearances on the After Show with Dan & Jessi, but her advice on business is priceless. I also went to one of the best photography shows I’ve ever seen (which I will talk about later).

But it was a reblog by cvxn of Wil Wheaton’s recent blog post that was the emotional cherry. Maybe it’s an internet sin but I wasn’t following @wilw, and didn’t know he had a blog let alone a podcast. I clicked the link because I loved Stand By Me growing up. Never did I expect to be so moved by what he wrote:

“Distracted by the responsibilities of every day life, it’s easy for me to forget why I love and need to perform. It’s easy to forget how satisfying it is to create a character, to discover something magnificent in a script or a scene, and then bring those things to life with other actors in front of an audience.”

Obviously I’m not an actor, but I feel the same about photography. I’m not the type of photographer that just takes my camera with me everywhere. When I shoot there is a definite purpose behind it, which means I go longer between creative bursts. In addition to daily life, there’s also the whole tech side of photography (pre & post), not to mention running a business that all cloud up the process. It’s easy to forget the high that comes with being on set. And it is a high.

It starts the night before a shoot when I can barely sleep from all the anticipation. Once I get there the adrenaline starts flowing, I’m suddenly stronger and not hesitating to do crazy things and fling my body into random positions. Then finally, there is this moment when totally vulnerable, everything clicks and I get *the shot*. After everyone is gone and the gear is packed I’m usually still buzzing well into the night.  All I want is to do it again, as soon as possible. But instead I wake up the next morning and start the grind.

Now that I think about it, maybe photography is more of an orgasm than a high.

Either way thanks to Wil Wheaton for getting my creative juices flowing & making me feel all tingly inside.