"wellness"

The much less glamorous side of living with a disease…

It’s not all yummy looking recipes and humble bragging about going to the gym. In fact, it’s mostly not those things. The reason I share those times is because it helps me focus on the positive & be excited about progress and health.

Health. Wellness. Those buzzwords that people either love or hate. And those who have never known what it’s like to live with being unwell are quick to write think-pieces mocking.

But there are those of us who live with diseases that don’t have the luxury to find humour in wellness. For us “wellness” is a life jacket we are desperately trying to put on while floating in an ocean of unknowns.

Why are you suddenly nauseated? What did you eat in the last 24 hours? When did you eat in the last 24 hours? Are you sure you read all the ingredients? Did you get enough sleep?

And those are just the questions you ask yourself. Trying to answer them for others can be equally difficult. Why can’t you drink? Why can’t you stay out later? Why can’t you just eat some of it? Why aren’t you ready on time?

Please know, we wish we had an answer. We would love not to be thinking about these things.

Right now I would love to be at the gym doing squats and curls. Instead I’m sitting quietly drinking ginger tea (which essentially is just hot spicy water), trying to make the nausea pass. And going over my records to see what changed.

Yes, I said records. I am so thankful for @jawbone and their amazing UP app. It’s how I start every morning, checking to see how much sleep I got. Sleep is crucial to regulating blood sugar.

I also weigh & log every thing I eat with @myfitnesspal - and I mean everything. It gives me immediate access to things from how much iron & calcium I’m getting to warnings on high sugar or carbs.

I also keep a Moleskine agenda and leave a line free at the bottom to track any symptoms I may have. At the end of the month I transfer it to a yearly chart that tracks any days I’ve had any symptom at all (even ones I realize later were from bumping into something), my weight, measurements and menstruation.

Yup. I’m that person. It’s taken me 11 years of living with PCOS to really hone a system that works. One that lets me feel like I’m in control. It might seem excessive to people, but when you have a disease that science isn’t studying, that doctors have no answer for, and is caused by environment and/or genetics the only choice you’re left with is taking control of your own health. Being your own advocate.

If you’re having a shitty day today know that you’re not alone. And know that it will pass.

PS - not a paid endorsement of Jawbone but if they’d like to send me some money and/or new stuff I’m super open to it.